One of wine's biggest problems is pronunciation. Being as most of it is foreign. And winemakers seem to love setting linguistic traps …

Was at Moët House today (no, not thinking of buying it, that's that chap D. Ageo. T. Laithwaite just wants a few bottles).

They were showing us their latest ads with their new 'face'; Scarlett Johanssen. And they said to listen carefully. Sure enough she actually says it; "Mow - ette" she says.

Apparently their phone lines have been hot with ribaldry about "how could you let this woman mispronounce your great name"?

But only calls from the UK. Because the French do actually pronounce Moët as 'Mow-ette', or ' 'Mwette' to be more exact. And the name in full comes out all in one bit as 'Mwettay-shondon.'

I was told this was because of those two dots over the 'e' - whatever they're called. And that the name is German anyway, like those of many Champagne Houses.

But then someone brainy I know says they've never seen two dots over an 'e' in German. So … it’s a mystery.

Won't stop the British calling for 'Moay' though, will it? It’s all part of being British.